pikiran 11:05, tiga.

Days are no longer the same. It’s not trashy, but it’s not the best shape I would imagine.

Lights are shining brighter than it used to, and darkness stays where it should be.

But why does the light does not shine as bright as when it tried to fight the dark?

Monotone as they could say.

Deep thoughtful talks with certain, or particular, people. How it feels so long yet it was very short. The mental-supports in every word we say to one another, that we did not realize.

Yet it was all back when the darkness dominated half of the soul. When we spent most our time at the present, reflecting the past, and not thinking straight about the future.

Do I miss the darkness and wanting it more than the lights? Or do my eyes are to blind to see the upcoming things?



// Poetry № 5 //

From February 1st 2017

apa kata mereka jika semua ini hanyalah sebatas khayalan?

jika semua hanya bayang-bayang dari imajinasi dan keinginan,

“guratan dan ilusi ini hanyalah imajinasi para pemberontak yang hanya bisa menari diantara hujan”


pikiran 11:05, dua.

It has been 2 months since short getaway to Singapore and 5 months since the #soloadv. to the United States. Oh, how I miss the holiday.

Right now, I’m in the middle of final exams week. Probably just starting, but this body need a rest after all the hectic weeks it been through since September. All the competitions I participated in, made me work harder on catching up all the school projects, tasks, and tests. Despite the hectic and exhausting weeks, it gave me a whole new level of experiences and new friends. High Scope Model United Nation was the highlight of the hectic weeks.

Still, I really need holidays. I need time to rest and to chill without doing any tasks. Just enjoying the things I love to do; a time to read books, drawing, and finishing all the DIYs that I couldn’t finish all this time. I miss getaways; to other cities or visiting new places; trying new food and other things.

Oh! And how I miss the sea, a lot. I miss the quietness of the underwater world; the peaceful moment that I can only get when I dive.

Tari Kecak, Uluwatu, Bali, Indonesia, 2013.


p.s.: I know it seems the pic doesn’t relate with anything I share, but well it does. It’s Uluwatu, Bali 3 years ago when I had my Christmas & New Year holiday with my Brazilian sister.


pikiran 11:05, satu.

I thought it was another despair story,

but then I realized it’s just the reality.

It is not an illusion, it is the truth.

I always wondering what happen if I move, if I change,

or if I leave.

Tapi kenyataan mengutukku. Menjadikan aku yang selalu ditinggalkan.

Ditinggalkan memori


dan manusia.

Aku berubah, atas semua perjalanan dan pengalaman ini.


I never move.

I never leave.

But one day I will.

“In California never felt like home to me,
in California never felt like home”


// Poetry № 2; Not in the Same Boat //

From February 14th, 2016.

I made improvements from the original one. 

As time goes,

one will go on,

and one will suffer.

One who keep trying to move on,

indifferent seeing the other.

The one who still need time,

who is still absorb with the past,

while the other is ready to move.

And it drifts apart,

away from one another.

One who floats,

one who sinks.

Guess we’re not in the same boat anymore